Finding Internal Confidence

One of the first words most people use to describe me is: confident.

Obviously the prideful part of me is like “Yea, I have thick skin. I’m confident and nothing shakes me.” However, internally I’m thinking, “Are you really talking about the same girl that took the mirror out of her room because she didn’t want to look at herself?”

But we all know the loud, extroverted, tough girl type; the one that people are afraid to mess with. Well I have news, at least for me, this whole tough girl act is just a wall I put up. And inside, I am hoping people won’t see that the thing I lack most is confidence.

I think I can speak on behalf of most women when I say the hardest thing to attain in body confidence.

How could I be confident? I’m 5’1″ not 5’10”. I wear a size 10 not a size 0. My hair is mousy brown and usually frizzy. And God forbid I don’t hide my arms under and oversized sweater. It seems as if all that odds are against me.

And I tear myself apart. Even after working on this confidence thing for years, it still seems nearly impossible. I look in the mirror, immediately zoning in on everything physical I hate about myself. I throw on some clothes that most likely don’t reflect who I really am, they are just trendy and will maybe make me feel a little bit better. I fidget with my clothes all day long making sure they are laying at the most flattering angle. I look at myself in every reflective surface I walk past. It’s a vicious cycle.

But today I want to break that cycle. Today I choose to love myself in my flaws because our bodies are a beautiful gift. They deserve respect, dignity, and love. So today I want to do something different, because I am grateful for my body. I am grateful for my short little legs that take me on peaceful walks. For a smile that lights up the room. For my brown eyes that allow me to see the beauty of God’s creation. For my tiny, chubby hands that allow me to type this very blog post. And most importantly for a heart that overflows with love.

Friends, reject the lies of the world because our worth is in Christ. Not in what the magazine cover says we should look like. Magazine covers are photoshopped and distorted images of beauty. Be the real you — the unedited you. Look in the mirror with confidence. Wear what makes you comfortable, what makes you unique. Size, weight, height, none of those things define beauty. So keep your head up, be confident in who you are and remember:

“You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14