Walking in Shadows

My friends and I were getting ready to go out, and I watched as each one of us tried on at least ten different outfits.

“I hate all my clothes. I have nothing to wear.”


As I watched my friends switch shirts and throw shoes around, I remembered a time in high school when I made a list of everything I needed to do to be perfect…

  • Look on Pinterest for new outfits
  • Lose 30 pounds
  • Buy whitening strips

I had googled so many things: how to lost a pound a day, how to whiten teeth quickly, negative calorie foods. You name it, I probably searched it.

I started whitening my teeth because that was pretty fool proof. By the end of the 30 days, my teeth felt like they were going to fall out, but hey! They looked white, so maybe now guys would like me.

Next was carrots and hardboiled eggs for breakfast and lunch then maybe a normal meal for dinner. In three months I did it. White teeth and goal weight achieved.

Then I completed the checklist, went shopping for new clothes straight off of my pintrest boards. There you have it, the new me. I should definitely have a boyfriends in like the next month, right?

You are probably wondering why I would share such a broken and hurt part of me. Here’s why.

This was high school me. This was the girl who thought beauty was a number on the scale. Worth was based on how many guys wanted to date you.

I remember what it feels like to look in the mirror EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. only to find another thing to change about yourself. I’m sure some of you reading this right now also are like “yea, I know exactly what that feels like.”

It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that girls and guys everywhere look in the mirror every single day and hate what they see. It breaks my heart that we live in society that feeds us lies about our intrinsic beauty and worth. It breaks my heart when I hear my friends say, “Ugh, if only I could lose a few more pounds.” or “I’ll never look as good as she does.” Lastly, it breaks my heart when I catch myself doing the same now.

“You are altogether beautiful my beloved, there is no flaw in you.”

That is the truth. That is what Jesus is trying to tell us each and every day. Forget what the world has to say. Maybe you have heard it 1000 times or maybe not at all: You are BEAUTIFUL, you are PERFECT, and you are GOOD.

Friends, let us love and be loved.


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